Category Archives: spoof

I Have Proof …

that having a kid causes gray hair.

Let me present my case, step by step.

Let us begin back in the days of yore circa 1988, before L and I had the Son. Here we are with my brother’s two oldest kids:

Note the nice dark hair on my head and face. I was Josh’s (the one in my arms) favorite uncle because I was one of the last adults able to lift him up (and because I am his only uncle, but …).

Then a few years later the Son was born and not much had changed:

But note the lightening already starting. (The flowers in front were from one of my clients in celebration of the Son’s birth.)

About a year later and look at how the gray side-burns were coming forth:

Add another year or so and look at the gray as we played on the floor at mom and dad’s:

Add another bit and see how the hair on top is turning gray and starting to thin:

I think it was because of all the toys I got to fix. {*grin*}


From there on out it just seems to go faster and faster. Here we all are a few years later:

By the time 2000 rolled around, we were still up for a good dress up occasion, but the white was running rampant:

Of course, the teen age years were yet to come, and with them came still more white (and the Son got a lot taller!):

In the same time frame, here is a better view of the gray taking over. (And no, I don’t know why the Son is pointing at the ceiling.)

I’ll leave you with this shot of me in my office a few years ago. The thing I am holding is an original art creation sold to benefit the local historical society – I called it “Thing-a-ma-boob”.

Notice how gray and sparse the hair on top is? I do from time to time. And it sure seems to correspond with having kids. {*grin*}

(I’m kidding of course – the Son had little to do with the changes in my hair.)

It Had to Happen

You just knew it had to happen someday, but I find it sad that it has apparently already happened:

(Routers) Today the OED Prepublication Committee announced that the word “said” is now considered outmoded and archaic. It will be replaced in primary usage by the word “like” in its past and indefinite form of “was like”. Some examples from the usage section of the definitional change sections:

ARCHAIC:

Jim said, “What day is it?”

Jill said, “When are we going to the mall?”


MODERN:

Jim was like, “What day is it?”

Jill was like, “When are we going to the mall?”

I am disconcerted by this change as I had become used to said in all its forms. It was bad enough living in LA during the peak of the Valley Girl phase, but now to have it be considered proper usage is sad.

I’ve got to go be depressed. Carry on.

For those who are a bit slow on the uptake, this is just me getting in practice for the upcoming April 1 event.
Yes, I’m joking about “said”.