Category Archives: humor

Oh My!

I had a whole slew of semi-serious topics I planned to talk about, but then I took a left turn and all you get is this. {*grin*}

As I was taking my pills this morning, I was struck by the thought that the drain in my sink has to be the healthiest drain anywhere. For more than 20 years it has dutifully eaten every pill and drug to slip from my fingers in the morning with nary a burp or belch. It obviously has low cholesterol from the statins and niacin it has stolen. It is on a balanced diet supplemented with all the vitamins it has swallowed as they tumbled from my hand due to sleep blurred vision. It has every once in a while even taken a dose of insulin that would kill a cow when a vial was dropped. And yet it keeps right on waiting for the next tidbit to fall its way.

So far as I can tell, the only substance to ever cause it indigestion is the stubble from my beard mixed with shaving cream. Even then, adding a bit of Drano to the mix seems to set all to right once more.

I figure it will still be gobbling things up long after I am gone.

Let Sleeping Dogs …

I’ve been tied up with construction and permitting and planning and … for the new humane society facility, so I have missed a few bloggy sessions. In the course of some of the meetings, my collegues and enemies couldn’t resist sharing a few funnies, so now I get to return the favor to you.

First up is this classic exercise of dog naming:

Of course I thought the cartoon was hilarious – don’t you?

Then as we got down to nuts and bolts and the contest to name the facility once we finish construction, this funny made an appearance:

It explained so many things. How could I have missed it?

On the weather front, morning looks to be interesting and sloppily wet. After hitting the upper 60s the last few days, the wind is blowing from the north and it is not supposed to get above freezing tomorrow (today) and snow between 7″ and a foot.

Time to meander off to bed.

A Potpourri of Odd Things

Yesterday could have been called Black Sunday in these parts. A friend’s mother passed away in the morning. And then one of my uncles lost his battle with cancer in the afternoon.  My sympathies to both families as they deal with death and Christmas in the same week.

Then we come to today. The temperature was close to 60 degrees and much of the snow and ice melted away. But … the weather critters are now predicting a big snow for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. (In fact, one of the weather critters is predicting a blizzard on Christmas Day for here and the area to the east.) Would it have been too much to ask for the nice weather to hang in there for a bit. Now the most reliable of the weather critters is predicting snow starting tomorrow evening and continuing all day Wednesday and then blowing and snowing for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Oh and a glorious 18 for the high on Christmas. Guess I’d better quit hoping for nice weather or it will be 20 below and blizzarding.

Now that I have been all gloom and doom and caused glazed eyes in those of you still reading, it is time for some humor. I subscribe to a great little paper full of sarcasm, humor and snark called Funny Times. It features everything from essays by the likes of Dave Berry, political cartoons, and just plain fun. One of my favorites is Jon Winokur’s Curmudgeon column. Each month he choses a topic and then presents a number of quotes pertaining to the topic. Usually I know about half the quotes, but sometimes it is a complete skunk. So I herewith present 5 quotes that I actually knew from this months column on the topic of Washington, D.C.:

Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. – John F. Kennedy

Washington is a very easy city for you to forget where you come from and why you got there in the first place. – Harry S. Truman

Being a Chicago Cubs fan prepares you for life – and Washington. – Hillary Rodham Clinton

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. – Fred Thompson

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. – Jay Leno

So what is your favorite quote about Washington, D.C.?

Fun and Oddities

I was visited this afternoon by another member of our Boy Scout committee to do some bookkeeping (I am the treasurer and he is the leader) related to the popcorn sales. Thank heavens the annual popcorn ordeal is about over. Once we completed the business at hand, the conversation began to drift. He and I were both Scouts in the troop some 40+ years ago and his sister was in L and my high school class, so we go back a ways. There is never a shortage of hot air to be exchanged.

The conversation went from hunting (and how neither of us does much of it anymore) to changes in the meat eating patterns of society at large. Sparing you the lean versus fat and wild versus range versus feedlot arguments, we finally landed on meats of our childhood that have become scarce to see in the stores. We both noted that you don’t see the huge displays of cow tongue anymore. (And we both agreed that we neither were big tongue fans.) But then we went on to note that we both love beef liver and onions, but don’t eat it anywhere near as often as we did in our youth. That led naturally to beef heart. He loved it in his youth but seldom finds it on the meat counter now. I am neutral on the topic since I can’t remember eating all that much of it at any time. That in turn led to a whole slew of foods like venison salami and antelope sausage and ….

Which leads me to some questions for you. What cuts of meat from your youth do you no longer find in abundance in the store? And what wild meat concoctions do you remember fondly from your youth?

Now on to the amusement of the day – a story courtesy of the local paper about another Colorado town of similar size to ours about 450 miles from here.

DURANGO (AP) — A person in a chicken costume ruffled the feathers of Durango’s city council as its members discussed rules for backyard fowl.

At a council meeting Tuesday, someone in a chicken costume quietly entered the council chambers just as the mayor was discussing a recently-passed backyard hen ordinance.

The costumed chicken took a few turns, flapped its arms, then took a seat in the nearly empty gallery.

Several minutes later, the big bird left — without identifying itself — after laying an egg on the floor.

Council members told The Durango Herald they were perplexed by the costumed chicken but found the visit humorous. The council voted 3-2 earlier this month to make it easier to keep backyard chickens.

Makes me think I’m leaving the mayor business at the perfect time.

The Grammar Rap

Every once in a blue moon, I come across something that tickles my funny bone to the extent that I can’t resist sharing it with the world. And no we’re not talking here about anything my grandmothers may have done. (And you’ll notice that I followed the video’s advice and used the right we’re and not were!) So here is a tidbit of proper grammar and humor that has me hooked. 

Without further ado, I give you  sistersalad !