{"id":476,"date":"2009-01-25T05:11:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-25T05:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/?p=476"},"modified":"2009-01-25T05:11:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-25T05:11:00","slug":"stupid-and-slow-saturday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/?p=476","title":{"rendered":"Stupid (and Slow) Saturday"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today was rather slow. I went to the funeral<\/a> this morning and then came back home to get some other things done. By 2:30 after a brisk 4 mile walk in the cold breeze, I was ready for a nap. So from 2:30 to 5 was occupied with sawing some rather large logs (with Molly the wonder dog snoring right beside the bed with me).<\/p>\n

In the arena of stupid, the local loonies seem to have been on\u00c2\u00a0their\u00c2\u00a0good behavior this week. (Other than the gentleman from yesterday<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0.) So I have had to try and remember what impressed me during the week. Given my marshmallow memory, that can be challenging.<\/p>\n

Some of my favorite tales of the stupid criminally inclined:<\/p>\n

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

which could qualify for a chance at the Darwin Awards<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0. And then you have the not overly bright minor offenders. I suspect this gentlemen might have been from large city where he wouldn’t expect the police to think like this:<\/p>\n

A local man is involved in a car accident. When the police arrive, the man gives his drivers license to the officer, and then literally turns and runs away. The officer doesn’t give chase, but does check him through the computer. He has no warrants and is a valid driver. His car is also registered to him and everything is proper. The officer simply tows the man’s car, drives over to his house and issues him a ticket.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But the best non-thinking criminals tend to be young. They still believe they are bullet proof and won’t get caught no matter how blatant the action. Like this pair:<\/p>\n

Police arrested a 16-year-old driver and his 19-year-old passenger in July in Exeter Township when the driver coolly pulled up to a sobriety checkpoint and told officers they were on the way to a party, even though both were obviously intoxicated; the car was littered with empty and open beer cans; and the boys looked much younger than 21 (the drinking age). And two other things: The car had been reported stolen, and in the back seat was a leather satchel containing various license plates, car titles and other motor-vehicle papers.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Last but not least, the cousin of the guy who wrote his ransom note on the back of his pay check:<\/p>\n

STEVENS POINT, Wis. — A woman didn’t have to look far to figure out who likely broke into her home and took a camera from her purse. Police said the burglar left behind his probation and parole card.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, what kind of stupidity has been catching your attention this week?<\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0Now I’ll leave you with an example winning Darwin Award entry<\/a> from last year:<\/p>\n

(8 March 2008, Florida) Just because you see it online does not mean it’s a good idea. Cameron, 18, was joyriding in a shopping cart as he held onto a moving SUV. An eyewitness said, “It’s irresponsible behavior, but what do you expect from kids?” The car and the cart went over a speed bump and the cart overturned, ejecting its occupant, who was not wearing the little seat belt. Cameron was pronounced dead at the scene.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(My apologies to those of you who have lost loved ones to such\u00c2\u00a0tragedies. )<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today was rather slow. I went to the funeral this morning and then came back home to get some other things done. By 2:30 after a brisk 4 mile walk in the cold breeze, I was ready for a nap. So from 2:30 to 5 was occupied with sawing some rather large logs (with Molly … Continue reading Stupid (and Slow) Saturday<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[475,288],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/476"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=476"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/476\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}