{"id":146,"date":"2010-04-22T07:34:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-22T07:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/?p=146"},"modified":"2010-04-22T07:34:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-22T07:34:00","slug":"im-mad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.dljones.com\/?p=146","title":{"rendered":"I’m Mad"},"content":{"rendered":"
(Before proceeding, the answer to yesterday’s question is octopus. Odd huh?)<\/i><\/div>\n
\u00c2\u00a0<\/i><\/div>\n
(And no, I’m not literally mad in either sense fo the word.) <\/i><\/div>\n
\u00c2\u00a0<\/div>\n
Time once more for Mama Kat’s<\/a> Writer’s Challenge<\/a>.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n

This weeks topics:<\/p>\n

1.) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m mad at myself. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m embarrassed. I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe after all these years, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still talking about my weight.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Poor Ope. What are you mad at yourself about? <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

2.) Divorce Dreams\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6a tempting alternative? A disaster to be<\/layer> avoided? Ever an option? Advice? What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your take? <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

3.) What is the joy in your present moment? <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

4.) List 10 rules you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve unlearned (meaning 10 things you thought <\/em>were expected of you or were the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153right way\u00e2\u20ac\u009d of doing things, but that you now ignore). <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

5.) Mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day is coming\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6what is the secret behind the close bond you have with your mom? OR What do you do to create that close bond with your kids?<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

#1 – I’m Mad<\/b>
(I think that if I were Oprah, I would just leave it at that: I’m mad!)<\/i><\/p>\n

I suspect that we all have multiple subjects to be<\/layer> mad or obsessed about. The problem is narrow it down to just one thing. I’m going to<\/layer> say weight for the moment.<\/p>\n

I have spent my entire life in the 3 standard deviation range for size (except for a week or two sometime in infancy)<\/i>. I was born a small preemie, one of the smallest to survive at the hospital at the time. I have always claimed that they over cooked me in the oxygen tent after birth. The growth that followed led to me being one of the biggest (both tallest and heaviest) in my class throughout school. That is why I have been 6’5″ and 300 lbs. since high school.<\/p>\n

The only time I get perturbed is when people design doors too short and chairs too small, when people drive cars so small that even one of my size 16 feet won’t fit in the door, etc. But at least I can see above the crowd.<\/p>\n

#2 – Divorce Dreams<\/b><\/p>\n

I think that everyone in a long term marriage has occasional thoughts of divorce. L and I have been married for close to 35 years and I know I have had such thoughts. I suspect L has as well.<\/p>\n

Such thoughts tend to occur in the throes or aftermath of a particular disappointment or unmet need. Usually the thought of divorce is completely unrealistic. A few hours or days later, the cold hard light of reality intrudes and you realize that divorce is not going to meet the unmet need. You realize that the shared memories and experiences are more important than the problem. That history and belief in each other will let you work the triggering problem out.<\/p>\n

The other big trigger for such thoughts seems to be<\/layer> a crisis of self belief. It is a dangerous trap to start believing you are not good enough and that divorce is a way to let your partner find happiness (or even yourself)<\/i>. Usually the delusion fades away and with it the contemplation of divorce. <\/p>\n

The divorce dream becomes problematic when it becomes the wedge that prevents you from working on the underlying problem(s). We’ve all know couples where the idea of divorce was the axe that sundered the marriage because it stopped the ability to function as a team to solve the underlying problem.<\/p>\n

(Confused enough?)<\/i><\/p>\n

#3 – The Joy<\/b><\/p>\n

The current joy is the coming of summer. The glorious days of never ending sunshine and green growing things all around. The satisfaction of mowing the lawn and working in the garden. The late evening twilight with the cicadas and birds and even the coyotes.<\/p>\n

#4 – 10 Broken<\/layer> Rules<\/b><\/p>\n