All posts by djones

criminals, stupid saturday

Stupid (and Slow) Saturday

2 Comments

Today was rather slow. I went to the funeral this morning and then came back home to get some other things done. By 2:30 after a brisk 4 mile walk in the cold breeze, I was ready for a nap. So from 2:30 to 5 was occupied with sawing some rather large logs (with Molly the wonder dog snoring right beside the bed with me).

In the arena of stupid, the local loonies seem to have been on their good behavior this week. (Other than the gentleman from yesterday .) So I have had to try and remember what impressed me during the week. Given my marshmallow memory, that can be challenging.

Some of my favorite tales of the stupid criminally inclined:

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

which could qualify for a chance at the Darwin Awards . And then you have the not overly bright minor offenders. I suspect this gentlemen might have been from large city where he wouldn’t expect the police to think like this:

A local man is involved in a car accident. When the police arrive, the man gives his drivers license to the officer, and then literally turns and runs away. The officer doesn’t give chase, but does check him through the computer. He has no warrants and is a valid driver. His car is also registered to him and everything is proper. The officer simply tows the man’s car, drives over to his house and issues him a ticket.

But the best non-thinking criminals tend to be young. They still believe they are bullet proof and won’t get caught no matter how blatant the action. Like this pair:

Police arrested a 16-year-old driver and his 19-year-old passenger in July in Exeter Township when the driver coolly pulled up to a sobriety checkpoint and told officers they were on the way to a party, even though both were obviously intoxicated; the car was littered with empty and open beer cans; and the boys looked much younger than 21 (the drinking age). And two other things: The car had been reported stolen, and in the back seat was a leather satchel containing various license plates, car titles and other motor-vehicle papers.

Last but not least, the cousin of the guy who wrote his ransom note on the back of his pay check:

STEVENS POINT, Wis. — A woman didn’t have to look far to figure out who likely broke into her home and took a camera from her purse. Police said the burglar left behind his probation and parole card.

So, what kind of stupidity has been catching your attention this week?

 Now I’ll leave you with an example winning Darwin Award entry from last year:

(8 March 2008, Florida) Just because you see it online does not mean it’s a good idea. Cameron, 18, was joyriding in a shopping cart as he held onto a moving SUV. An eyewitness said, “It’s irresponsible behavior, but what do you expect from kids?” The car and the cart went over a speed bump and the cart overturned, ejecting its occupant, who was not wearing the little seat belt. Cameron was pronounced dead at the scene.

(My apologies to those of you who have lost loved ones to such tragedies. )

drunks, Friday, loony

The Drunks Only Come Out On Friday

1 Comment

I swear that this must be a full moon time. The loonies were out in force today. And my original post for this evening was eaten by Blogger, leaving no trace. All I need now is a drunken phone call at 3am to make the day complete.

The day began with an assortment of odd people calling. Most were of the sane to moderately loony ilk, but one definitely made it to full on loony status. With just one call. Mr. X, as he shall be known for now, made it to the loony hit parade. No getting to the point of the call with Mr. X. He suffered from verbal diarrhea in the worst form. After about fifteen minutes, he finally came to the first “point” of his call. He had “heard” something on the radio in Denver and thought is was a great idea and why weren’t we damn well doing it. So after some more meandering, he final came out with what he had “heard”. He “heard” that Denver was forcing all those who applied for welfare benefits to work fixing the city streets. That immediately raised the bullshit detector to high alert since: 1) cities in general have nothing to do with welfare programs and 2) the insurance premiums for having unqualified people working in and around heavy equipment would be prohibitive. When queried, well, he hadn’t actually “heard” it on the radio, it was at a bar. Things were beginning to become clear. Mr. X was inebriated and getting more so (at 10am no less). When it became clear that the welfare plan wasn’t going to fly, Mr. X changed tactic and wanted to know if he could get a ride. I told him I had a meeting to attend, but he might want to call xxx-yyyy (the local police department number) and they might indeed give him a ride. I hope he enjoyed talking to them. If he is typical of the few serious drunks around here, the police already know him, where he lives, and how long he needs to be held to sober up.

Mr. X reminded me of a gentleman I first met shortly after becoming Mayor. One fall Friday when it was nice but with a brisk breeze, I am walking around the park when a gentleman seated on a park bench yells at me (and anyone passing by) to please hand him the bottle of whiskey by his feet. By the next lap around, there is one empty on the ground and he is still asking for someone to hand him his full bottle sitting at his feet. One more lap and he is turning belligerent, screaming at anyone who passes. It is also clear that he is so drunk that he cannot stand up and make the two step journey to his full bottle.  I called the police and told them about the situation (he was too drunk to even reach down and get the other bottle by his feet and was turning belligerent towards those using the park). Even if he hadn’t been belligerent, I would still have called the police since the temperature had dropped 30 degrees in the last hour and he would soon be in danger of hypothermia because he had no coat. The police arrived and immediately knew the gentleman. He was a highly decorated Korean war veteran who would go off the deep end drinking about every three weeks, The rest of the time he was a nice and upstanding guy. So the drug and DUI test officer talked to him for a bit. He was told he could either be taken to the hospital so his BAC could be monitored or he could be taken to the holding tank where someone would have an eye on him. In no case would he be taken home and in no case would he get his other bottle of whiskey. After several attempts when it became apparent that he could not get up, a couple of the officers helped him over to the car for the journey to the tank. That in my mind is one of the great things about a small town. The officers knew the gentleman, knew what needed to be done, did it, *and* treated the gentleman with respect.

Most of the other things today concerned matters that I am not at liberty to talk about. Lets just say it was a day of strange meetings and even stranger conversations.

Late this afternoon, I went to the open house and grand opening of the new Adult Education and Family Literacy Center at the local community college. The program has grown over the years and is now in a new facility (new to them). The program teaches GED and ESL courses. I was surprised to learn of the size of the GED program. They currently have ~100 GED students and ~20 ESL students.  One of the things that sets the program apart is that they have a child care nursery in the building so that young mothers and fathers can bring the kids to a safe and fun place while they are in class. Studies had shown that the number one impediment to young single mothers and families pursing a GED was child care (in many cases it was the pregnancy and birth of the child that had caused  the truncation of their education). This way the problem is addressed and the education happens.

Well, I’ve got a funeral to attend in the morning. Goodnight for now.

blind date, relationship, writer's challenge

The Memorable Blind Date (sort of)

6 Comments

Mama Kat ‘s up for yet another writer’s challenge . This week’s choices left me hanging a bit. But then I decided to follow Mama Kat ‘s lead and modify the prompt a bit. Mama said:

1.) Tell us about a memorable blind date.

2.) Other than the birth of a child or your wedding, write about a joyous moment.

3.) Write about one of the most difficult decisions you have made in your life.

4.) Share the best picture you took last month and explain why it’s your favorite

But all of these prompts left me in a quandary. So I decided to write about the nearest thing to a blind date I have ever been on. (Coincidentally, it is also one of those joyous moments that formed another prompt.)

The Prelude:
I was an antisocial brainiac nerd in high school. Being huge, a football player, outspoken, smart, and an egotist conspired to make me one of the least popular people amidst my peers. Even so, I did some dating, just not a lot. Sophomore year of high school, a really neat girl moved to the area and was assigned to the seat beside me in biology class. Over the course of the next few weeks I became smitten with her. She was beautiful and smart and fun and … So I finally ramped up my courage and asked her out for a Friday night. I was planning to attend the school play with her.

When I asked, she immediately told me no, she couldn’t go out then because her grand parents were visiting. Ok, a minor shoot down. I could live with that. But then on the Friday night in question she shows up at the play sans grand parents, making it real clear I was snubbed. We didn’t really speak to each other much after that. At least not for the next few years. We both dated other people, but saw each other in classes and in church group.

The Blind Date:
Senior year, just before Halloween, I got invited to a big Halloween party being held in a country barn by some classmates. Given the description of my popularity above, such invites were not a common occurrence in my life. I figured that something must be up, but wasn’t sure what it could be.

And then she, the neat girl from above, talked to me. It was clear that she was hoping I was going to attend. So I said yes and along with my lifelong friend G (mentioned here) attended the party. I spent most of the evening talking to the girl in question. It was clear we both were entranced and felt something growing. After the party was over, I convinced her to go driving the streets with me and G (or it may have been she convinced me – I was in an euphoric cloud and don’t remember). G was the perfect wingman, driving us all around while we talked and talked. (And in looking back on it, I owe G. a lot for being so nice that night.) The upshot was that the evening had become somewhat of a blind date.

The Aftermath:
The next week she and I went out on our first official date. We survived the flashing of the porch lights by her dad as we sat and talked for hours past her curfew. We became a couple. We dated and saw each other and fell deeper and deeper in love. We survived the separation of attending colleges thousands of miles apart and attempts to break up and … That was 36 years ago and we have now been married  for 33+ years. G. was one of my groomsmen when we got married. Yes, that’s right. The girl who shot me down, snubbed me, and was the object of mutual avoidance for several years is my lovely wife L. All goes to show that first attempts don’t mean everything. And that love can win out.

P.S. The answer to yesterday’s question is have a birthday. May 22 is the day with the lowest birth rate in the United States.

radio, rant, trivia, water

Wacky Wednesday

1 Comment

This morning was the normal weekly radio show. I didn’t have a lot to say since the main topic for the week has been water rights. The EPA forced treatment of our water under the new standards will force us to waste (not use in any constructive way) at least 15% of the water we pump from the ground. That means that although we thought we had sufficient water rights to cover the projected growth in usage for the next 35 years, we now need to begin looking for more water to buy to cover our depletions much sooner. I know that people who don’t live in the water short American West don’t have a clue what I’m moaning about. Those who do are going “yup, been there and been burned by stupidity of easterner’s laws before too.”

One of the nice things about doing the radio show is that things here in “small town” have been pretty calm, so I don’t get the raving lunatics calling in. It’s more the attack of the rabidly apathetic – you can’t get them to call for any reason. That means I get to blither on about topics of my own choosing. Sort of like rambling to your self on a blog – you don’t know until later who was listening/reading and only then when they comment on it. For small market radio, the rule of thumb is that if you have 100 listeners, you will get around one comment in the next week. I wonder if there is a similar rule of thumb for comments on blogs. Have you heard of one?

Time to get on with cleaning up the kitchen. I left the dishes after supper and now have to do them before bed. I find that when I’m batching it, I have a tendency not to do things like the laundry and dishes if I don’t do them right away. On the other hand, I’m enough of a neatnik that I can’t stand having the mess sitting around. So I have this internal dialog going on in my head between the angel of neatness and the imp of sloppiness. Add to that the trio of me, myself, and I all babbling at each other and the conversations gets a bit hard to get a word in edgewise. And of course Molly the dog feels free to contribute here two barks as well. Which might explain why I’m so incoherent at times! {*grin*}



Speaking of raving lunatics, what is the one thing least likely to happen to a U.S. citizen on May 22? That was the question we used to give away the dozen donuts on the trivia show that follows my meandering on the radio. My pre-air prediction was < 3 minutes and 2 callers. I hit it on the nose. Leave your guess of the answer in the comments. I will include the answer in tomorrows blog entry.

inaguration, obama, Rex Monahan

Inagural Tueday

2 Comments

From all that I see on the news and in the blogosphere, it appears that today was either a red letter day of happiness or a black shrouded dirge of sadness. If you were liberal, fed up with Bushie, young, excitable, non-Caucasian, or … you were overjoyed and happy. If you were a dyed in the wool conservative, or a Rush Limbaugh fan, or … you were enveloped with a deep and lingering feeling of sadness.

For my part, I am of a mixed mind. The problems facing the Obama administration are large and growing. The honeymoon will be short and the aftermath ugly if definitive action doesn’t happen in the early days of power. But, for the first time in a lot of years we have a powerful orator who is young and quasi-intellectual as our President. Given that Mr. Obama is a veteran of the Chicago political machine, he should be able to negotiate the pitfalls of Washington with aplomb. So here’s to hoping that good things will happen and this country will get back on track.

Today was sad in this part of the world. Rex Monahan, one of the pillars of the community died on Monday and the news was released today. The announcements and preliminary obituaries reflect the private nature of his life. He was a man who did much good for the community. He and his wife have been involved in the community for years and years. I went to school with two of his four children, and even that far back he was known for his generosity. Sometimes what he did was known, like the library at the college named for his family and the park in the city named the same and the support of the literacy program and the endowed scholarships, and …. Other times his generosity was hidden, like the family battling cancer who mysteriously got added to his payroll so they could concentrate on the fight. He was a man who lived life full on, deciding to get into power lifting after he quasi-retired. He still holds power lifting world records for the 75-80 year old category. He and his wife set a goal of helping 1000 people to become literate, tutoring and supporting the literacy coalition. They easily exceeded that goal. He decided to learn a new language as a hobby even after his hearing degenerated (due to all the loud noise exposure in the oil fields). It was typical of his determination.

One anecdote that I remember about Rex came from his wife, Doris. We were having supper and she was expressing how happy she was that Rex had finally taken up a hobby other than photography. I asked why and she explained that she was tired of coming home and finding “things” in the bathtub where Rex had put them to photograph and then gotten called away. I asked what kind of things. Doris’ answer – “Oh, you know. rattlesnakes and frogs and turtles, things like that.” I have two lasting mental images of Rex. One is the two of us standing, with Rex draping one arm on my arm, his good ear towards me, saying “Now Dan …”. The other is visiting the nursing homes and finding Rex making visits so that no one would feel alone. He was always there for the people of the community. Rex’s courtly manners, community spirit, and giving heart will be greatly missed.

Well, with that it is time to get some real work done.