All posts by djones

writer's challenge

The Anthem and The Rest

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Time once more for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Challenge. This week the topics are:

1.) What is your life’s anthem? You know…that song that is ALWAYS in your head. The one you’d go to sing first if someone told you to sing a song right NOW. What is it and what does it mean to you? (inspired by Tattooed Minivan Mom)


2.) We love telemarketers don’t we!?! Describe a memorable experience you had with one. (inspired by Literal Dan)


3.) How much does focusing on weight affect your daily life?
(inspired by Musings Of A Blond Mom)

4.) Describe in what ways you expect too much from your significant other. Do they deserve an apology? (inspired by Carty Party Of Three)

5.) List ten things that make you HAPPY. (inspired by our irritation at our own complaining from last weeks “Sick Of” posts.)

6.) Ok I was going to end it with five, but Laina just got out of bed as I was finishing this post and I SWEAR she is sleep walking. It’s creepy. I keep asking her what she is doing and she’s staring at me…but not directly at me…kind of just a centimeter to the left of my head. I KNEW she was a sleep walker. I just knew it. SO! Share a sleep walking story of your own!! (inspired by my scary four year old)

So here are my “answers” to the topics.




#1 – My Anthem(s). I have several anthems, depending on the phase of the moon and the part of my life we are talking about. For life in general, I’ll go with Iron Butterfly’s In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.

Life has a lot of similarities to a psychedelic quasi-love song. That is what makes it interesting. (And note that I chose the short version, not the 17 minute long original that I love.) For my anthem of marriage, I think I’ll go with Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight.

It encapsulates so many of the feelings and emotions of marriage and relationships in such an emotionally satisfying way, that I think it is perfect.

#2 – Telemarketer(s). The other day I was at Mom’s when my cell phone rang. The caller id showed a cell phone number, but no name. My office phone auto-forwards to my cell phone, so I suspected this was a call to the office phone. When I answered, some rather deluded gentleman tried to convince me that a) he was calling from a local business, b) that I really needed siding regardless of the fact I have a brick house, and c) that we somehow had a prior relationship, thus making the call not a violation of the do-not-call laws. I hung up and remarked to Mom that she should be getting her call in a few minutes. Sure enough, her phone rang and so far as we can tell, it was the same deluded gentleman. I think he may have been a bit surprised at how abruptly the conversation was ended. It looks like idiots that want to try telemarketing to small towns would be smarter than to claim the business is local. Most residents are cognizant of the names of most local businesses.

#3 – Weight. My perspective here may be a bit different than most people. From childhood on I have always been large. Even when I was playing football, I was well outside the norms of a height-weight chart. Today at 6’5″ and 300+ lbs., nothing much has changed. I am not one that spends a lot of time focusing on weight. Given that I have lived with being outsized all my life, I don’t worry about it much.

Does that mean that I wouldn’t like to be thin or even normal once in my life? No, I think it would be really neat to be normal sized for at least a few hours. Perhaps long enough to fly on a plane without my knees being crushed and without hitting my forehead on door closers, etc. Of course I also think it would be fun to experience life as a short person and perhaps even the opposite sex for a few hours as well. So I spend about the same amount of time worrying about all of these possibilities – none.

I am also a long term diabetic. One of the things that keeps me from obsessing about weight is that when I try to modify my weight (changes in diet and/or exercise) it becomes next to impossible to keep my blood glucose levels under control. Given the long term consequences of excess weight versus loss of glucose control, the decision is easy – glucose control wins everytime.

As an aside, one of the more interesting aspects of growing older is watching people adapt as they age and cannot maintain certain physical aspects without a lot of pharmotherapy and surgery. Some people age with acceptance and grace, others fight every symptom of aging to the point of obsession. I find it amusing because I hear my cohort complaining about maintaining weight and losing hair and turning grey and no longer looking like they did thirty years ago. As someone who would never have been described as attractive even at my peak, I dealt with many of the issues they now face 30 years ago. It is interesting to watch them grapple with issues that are truly superficial like appearance. Some resort to the plastic surgeon trying to look like they remember. Some become fanatical gym rats trying to maintain a body look that the changing chemistry of their body no longer supports. And some realize that you cannot go back and so reach acceptance and enjoy the things that are different. What is really fun is to get a group trying all of the alternatives sitting around a table talking and noting how standard life events are interpreted differently by the various groups.

#4 – Signicant Other. The most obvious over-expectation of L that I have is that she should read my mind. I expect her to be thinking along the same pathways and reaching the same conclusions that I am. It fits in with my rather pedantic bent, but doesn’t make it any fun for L. So do I owe L an apology. Yes, at times. In any long term relationship, there will be over and under expectations running both ways. Part of having a good relationship (or perhaps even to having a relationship?) is that the two way flow of expectaion and apology just works without too much friction. As L once rather emphatically expressed it to me: “If I have to ask then it doesn’t count!”

#5 – Ten Things That Make Me Happy.
  • Spending time with L
  • Enjoying a good meal and conversion with friends
  • Walking the golf course
  • Writing a program that works like I imagined
  • Understanding how something works at a deep level
  • Ending a day physically tired and satisfied
  • Working a crossword puzzle
  • Designing robots
  • Seeing the light turn on when you finally get someone to understand
  • Spending time with family

    #6 – Sleep Walking. No one in the immediate family sleep walks, so no good recent stories. However, if you are willing to go back to days of yore, one of the occupants of the dorm I lived in freshman year was a sleep walker. It was a common occurrence to come stumbling back to the dorm after a late night out to find him leaning on the door to the outside, sound asleep on his feet. Usually dressed in thin cotton PJs. We’d guide him back to his room and let him go from there. The biggest fear was that he’d go walking out the front door and into the 5 feet of snow and -20 degree temperatures some night, but he never seemed to make it out the front door. I’ve often wondered if he still sleep walks all these years later.

    authors, Carr, mystery

    Do you …

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    Do you ever find some authors that you know are good, possibly even great, are highly esteemed, are lauded by others whose judgment you generally agree with, that you just cannot stomach? If you are still with me after that convoluted sentence, let me explain. This past weekend I tried to once again read several novels by John Dickson Carr. I have had five of his novels around for twenty years and make periodic attempts to read them. It never seems to work.

    For those who don’t know Mr. Carr’s work, he is widely considered to be the absolute master of the locked room mystery. His protagonist, Dr. Gideon Fell, is highly educated and erudite. He is also a man of considerable size and girth. Given that I am a fan of detective fiction, intelligent protagonists, and always root for big guys (maybe a bit of personification), it seems that the Carr novels should be some of my favorites. But they aren’t. I struggle to read more than a chapter or two. And it drives me crazy because I know that if I could just get past whatever is stopping me from enjoying these books, I’d get the chance to enjoy some highly reguarded literature. This is the author that Dorothy Sayers once remarked “… can lead us away from the small, artificial, brightly lit stage of the ordinary detective plot into the menace of outer darkness.” He was the president of the Mystery Writers of America and a Grand Master recipient from the same organization.

    I think what really drives me crazy is the fact that the only Carr novel that I like is one that is closer to a romantic comedy than the normal Carr novel. “The Case of the Constant Suicides” is one of my favorite locked room reads, exceeding even the Sherlock Holmes stories in my esteem. When I read that story, I experience new vistas opening before me that I know must be lurking in the other novels that I cannot stand. But it is no good. Years and multiple attempts to even tolerate the other Carr novels have fallen short.

    So answer the question! Do you have authors like Mr. Carr that you know you should like and yet you just cannot do it? Who are they? And perhaps more important to my personal decades long quest: did you opinion ever change to the point you came to like that author?

    memorial day, weather

    Memorial Day

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    It rained off and on here all day. (Hooray, water!) L has headed back to the mountains and I am listening to an old Richard Lewis tape. I always find it amazing how well standup comedy works on audio tape with no visual references.

    Since this is the first time in several years I haven’t been a speaker at one of the Memorial Day services, I figured I’d take the opportunity to publish the text of my last Memorial Day speech. Enjoy.

    Memorial Day Speech (from 2008)

    We are gathered here today to honor our comrades, friends, and family members who have given their lives in defense of our freedom.

    In 1868, when General John Logan (the namesake of this county) officially proclaimed Memorial Day as May 30th of each year, he was recognizing the very human need to honor and remember our dead, to reconcile our hurts and come together to honor those who gave so much for us during the Civil War. To quote from General Logan’s General Order No. 11 proclaiming Memorial Day:

    Let us, then, at the time appointed gather round their sacred remains and garland the passionless mounds above them with the choicest flowers of spring-time; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved from dishonor; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledges to aid and assist those who they have left among us …

    From the Civil War, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and all other actions between and after, brave men and women have given the ultimate sacrifice for us. We must remember them. We owe them a debt of honor that can never be repaid.

    Over the years there have been changes, for better and worse, in the ways we observe Memorial Day. The attempts at healing of the post Civil War divisions by General Logan was the beginning. WWI led Moina Michael to respond to John McCrae’s “In Flanders Fields” with her own poem:

    We cherish too, the Poppy red
    That grows on fields where valor led,
    It seems to signal to the skies
    That blood of heroes never dies.

    And she went on to found the national poppy movement using the traditional red poppies to honor the blood of heroes spilled in our defense on Memorial Day. The late 1950’s saw the beginning of the tradition of placing American flags on the individual graves of our fallen heroes. The fourth Monday in May was officially established by Congress as the date of remembrance in 1971. This service today continues this tradition of remembrance and honor.

    Through all the changes, the importance and meaning of this day has not changed. It is the day we remember and honor those who have fallen for us. We must remember them. We owe them a debt of honor that can never be fully repaid. Let us honor and remember them today and throughout the year.

    beauregard, Molly, thoughts, weather

    Have You Ever …

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    Have you ever wondered what is going through the mind of your pet? Do you ever wonder if they think along lines recognizable by the human thought process? I do.

    This particular revery was brought on by Molly the dog’s reaction to the thunder this evening. We had a couple of pretty good booms after a quiet day of overcast. When the booms happened, Molly sprinted into my office, put her paws on my leg, and stood up with her head buried in my chest. She was literally shaking like a leaf. So my first thought was that she was frightened. But then I began to wonder if that was just my human brain thinking. What makes me think that the thought processes of a dog should follow my expectations of human norms?

    In any case, Molly has not ventured more than a foot from me since the incident. I suspect she can still hear subsonic rumbles from the now distant storm. If I stand up, Molly is right there with me. If I sit down, Molly is laying at my feet (but only after first pawing my leg and making sure she is not going to get more head rubs first).

    The “attached at the leg” syndrome makes me think back to the Son’s toddlerhood when there were the days that you could not be separated from him by more than inches without a fit being initiated. I am sure that all parents have been through those tag-a-long days where there is no relief from the continuous attachment of the young ones. Somehow, it is a bit more tolerable when it is your child attached to you than when it is your big strong dog. Not only that, but this is a new behaviour for Molly compared to last year. So this summer when the thunderstorms really fire up should be an interesting experience.

    Back to the initial topic. I am really curious as to what goes through the mind of Molly. Given she is at least partially a herding breed, it is tempting to attribute thoughts to her as she sits with her ears alert scanning the yard. Likewise when she is trying to herd the squirrels on the powerlines in the alley.

    Oh well, at least Molly hasn’t picked up the habits of her late predecessor, a Bassett Hound named Beauregard. Beau used to go out in the back yard and come back with his jowels full of crickets, which he would then carefully release alive in the house. Once Beau finally caught on that the crickets were verbotten (Bassetts are not the worlds brightest dogs, it only took him about five years to get that idea), he switched over to bringing the occasional live toad in and letting it go in the house. So far Molly has been much better behaved than that.

    I’ll leave you with this picture of Molly huddling at my feet:

    friday high five, meeting

    Five Oddities Spotted …

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    It’s time once more for

    Five Oddities Spotted at the Meeting I Attended Tonight

    • Although the meeting was about a development in the far rural reaches of the county, there were more city officials in attendance than officials from the county.
    • The engineering/consulting firm for the project actually had an approximately equal male/female ratio in the engineers attending. Given that the project is geologic and oil and gas related, to see that kind of equality warmed the cockles of my scientist’s heart.
    • The code of ethics for the FERC representative prevented her from even sampling the food buffet put out for all to enjoy by the project backers. That sounds to me like a policy in need of some sanity, especially since they sent the representative out for a evening meeting without many other options for food. (FERC = Federal Energy Regulatory Commission) 
    • The landowners adjacent to the project attended the meeting because it was a social event. They were there to exchange gossip and crop news more than to ask questions about the project. (So related to the above, the representative from FERC was probably the loneliest person at the meeting.)
    • Nothing will perk the ears of the Emergency Coordinator and the Fire Chief quicker than an off-handed discussion of tanker trucks loaded with highly flammable explosives following a HazMat route through the area.